Interzone Science Fiction and Fantasy Magazine #220 Read online

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  TTA Press

  www.ttapress.com

  Copyright ©

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  NOTICE: This work is copyrighted. It is licensed only for use by the original purchaser. Making copies of this work or distributing it to any unauthorized person by any means, including without limit email, floppy disk, file transfer, paper print out, or any other method constitutes a violation of International copyright law and subjects the violator to severe fines or imprisonment.

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  CONTENTS

  EDITORIAL—Stuff You Know, Stuff We Don't

  ANSIBLE LINK—David Langford's News & Gossip

  MONETIZED—Jason Stoddard

  READERS’ POLL—Vote for your favourite (and not so favourite) stories of 2008

  SINNER, BAKER, FABULIST, PRIEST; RED MASK, BLACK MASK, GENTLEMAN, BEAST—Eugie Foster

  AFTER EVERYTHING WOKE UP—Rudy Rucker

  SPY VS SPY—Neil Williamson

  MILES TO ISENGARD—Leah Bobet

  MEMORY DUST—Gareth L. Powell

  BOOK ZONE—Interview with Jeffrey Ford, Various Book Reviews

  THE PHYSIOGNOMY, MEMORANDA, THE BEYOND—Jeffrey Ford

  LASER FODDER—Tony Lee's DVD Reviews

  MUTANT POPCORN—Nick Lowe's Film Reviews

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  INTERZONE

  SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY

  ISSUE 220

  FEB 2009

  Cover Art

  By Adam Tredowski

  tredowski.cba.pl

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  ISSN 0264-3596 ] Published bimonthly by TTA Press, 5 Martins Lane, Witcham, Ely, Cambs CB6 2LB, UK (t: 01353 777931) Copyright ] © 2009 Interzone and its contributors Distribution ] UK ] Warners (t: 01778 392417) ] Central Books (t: 020 8986 4854) ] WWMD (t: 0121 7883112) ] Australia ] Gordon & Gotch (t: 02 9972 8800) ] If any shop doesn't stock Interzone please ask them to order it for you, or buy it from one of several online mail order distributors such as BBR, Fantastic Literature ... or better yet subscribe direct with us!

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  Fiction Editors ] Andy Cox, Andy Hedgecock, David Mathew, Jetse de Vries ([email protected]) Book Reviews Editor ] Jim Steel Story Proofreader ] Peter Tennant Advertising & Publicity ] Roy Gray ([email protected]) Typeshifting ] Andy Cox E-edition & Transmissions From Beyond Podcast ] Pete Bullock Website ] ttapress.com Subscriptions ] The number on your mailing label refers to the final issue of your subscription. If it's due for renewal you'll see a big reminder on the insert. Please renew promptly!

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  CONTENTS

  FICTION

  MONETIZED—Jason Stoddard

  Illustrator: Paul Drummond

  (pauldrummond.co.uk)

  SINNER, BAKER, FABULIST, PRIEST; RED MASK, BLACK MASK, GENTLEMAN, BEAST—Eugie Foster

  Illustrator: Geoffrey Grisso

  (freewebs.com/houseofgrisso)

  AFTER EVERYTHING WOKE UP—Rudy Rucker illustrator: Rudy Rucker

  (rudyrucker.com)

  SPY VS SPY—Neil Williamson

  MILES TO ISENGARD—Leah Bobet illustrator: Warwick Fraser-Coombe

  (warwickfrasercoombe.com)

  MEMORY DUST—Gareth L. Powell illustrator: Daniel Bristow-Bailey

  (bristow-bailey.deviantart.com)

  FEATURES

  EDITORIAL—Stuff You Know, Stuff We Don't

  ANSIBLE LINK—David Langford's News & Gossip

  READERS’ POLL—Vote for your favourite (and not so favourite) stories of 2008

  BOOK ZONE—Interview with Jeffrey Ford, Various Book Reviews

  LASER FODDER—Tony Lee's DVD Reviews

  MUTANT POPCORN—Nick Lowe's Film Reviews

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  EDITORIAL—Stuff You Know, Stuff We Don't

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  Readers’ Poll

  This being the first issue of a new year, somewhere in here you'll find details of Interzone's annual readers’ poll, in which you can vote for your favourite stories and illustrations of 2008. If you're new to the poll you might be surprised to learn that you can also vote against anything you didn't like. The story or illustration with the highest aggregate score is the winner. A bit harsh maybe, but that's the way Interzone's always done it. And don't worry if you haven't read all of the 2008 issues or are not actually a subscriber, your vote still counts. By all means let us know your general opinions of Interzone's year as well. We always look forward to reading these, and will publish as many as we can.

  Martin McGrath has once again kindly volunteered to oversee the poll and will take votes and comments by post and by email and via the forum (ttapress.com/forum). Whichever method you choose please make sure your votes are in before 31 March, because the results will be published in issue 222.

  Books

  I'm glad to say that the books we published in 2008 were very well received. Paul Meloy's collection Islington Crocodiles sold out very quickly, so I'm sorry if you missed it. We might publish a very special, very limited hardback so do let us know if that's something you'd be interested in.

  Andrew Humphrey's debut novel Alison, meanwhile, continues to pick up rave reviews—see the quotes reproduced on the inside back cover, for example. We still have copies of this left (print run was much higher) so please be tempted. It really is a brilliant, compelling piece of work.

  We're still hoping to gradually increase the number of titles we publish, so please look out for some exciting announcements throughout the year.

  Making the Most of the Exchange Rate

  The poor old pound continues to take a battering, so for readers in the USA and Europe at least now is a very good time to be subscribing. Don't feel you have to wait for a subscription to expire before renewing either, go ahead and extend your subscription at any time, by any number of issues, and we'll take care of the rest.

  If by the time you read this the poor old pound has had a dramatic recovery, sorry, just ignore this bit!

  Copyright © 2009

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  ANSIBLE LINK—David Langford's News & Gossip

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  Langford attempts psionic contact with giant fungus

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  Publishers and Sinners. Signs of the end times: the major New York publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt instructed its editors to stop acquiring new manuscripts. (Publishers Weekly) VP Josef Blumenfeld soothingly added that this is ‘not a permanent change.’ Later, HMH downplayed this as merely a ‘freeze-lite’ ... ‘blown out of proportion'.

  Science Fantasy. Lisa Shaw of Century Radio Northeast: ‘In which book is Room 101 a place to be feared?’ Caller: ‘101 Dalmatians.’ (Private Eye)

  Paul Krugman, winner of the 2008 Nobel Prize for Economics, is an unashamed sf fan who says of Asimov's Foundation: ‘It's somewhat embarrassing, but that's how I got into economics: I wanted to be a psychohistorian when I grew up, and economics was as close as I could get.’ (New York Times) His 1978 paper ‘The Theory of Interstellar Trade’ is fondly remembered.

  Alexei Sayle plugged his new novel—set partly in outer space—in a Radio 2 interview, and revealed the closely guarded secret: ‘Science fiction is a kind of way to use magic.'

  As Tabloids See Us. At last, even Star Trek transcends! ‘The eagerly anticipated Star Trek film is set to cast off the geeky associations of the sci-fi genre...’ (Daily Mail) * An alleged villain's key defect: ‘It was claimed that mother-of-seven Matthews faked Shannon's
kidnap with sci-fi fantasist Michael Donovan to try to pocket a 50,000 pound reward from the media.’ (Daily Express) My italics.

  Magazine Scene. Æon, the on-line sf quarterly whose 15th issue appeared in August 2008, announced its closure for financial reasons.

  We Are Everywhere. Michael Chabon explained the US Democratic National Convention as ‘like the change that might occur between the first and second volumes of some spectacular science fiction fantasy epic. / At the end of the first volume, after bitter struggle, Obama had claimed the presumptive nomination. We Fremen had done the impossible, against Sardaukar and imperial shock troops alike. We had brought water to Arrakis. Now the gathered tribes of the Democratic Party [ ... ] had assembled on the plains of Denver to attempt to vanquish old Saruman McCain.’ (New York Review of Books) At least it wasn't Voldemort.

  John Norman plugs his new Gor novel: ‘What man, in his deepest heart, does not want to own a female, to have her for his own, utterly, as a devoted, passionate, vulnerable, mastered slave, and what woman, in her deepest heart, does not want to be so intensely desired, so unqualifiedly and fiercely desired, that nothing less than her absolute ownership will satisfy a male, her master?’ Answers on a postcard, but not to me.

  Raymond Briggs received the lifetime achievement award in the 14th Cartoon Art Trust Awards, presented in November.

  Lexicongate. Is this the end? RDR Books withdrew the appeal against the US decision blocking publication of the Harry Potter Lexicon in its originally planned form. Instead Steve Vander Ark re-edited and expanded the book in the light of the judgment, with less paraphrase and more analysis. J.K. Rowling's PR agency made approving noises, and the Lexicon was scheduled for 12 January.

  Kim Stanley Robinson was hailed as a Hero of the Environment, Leaders & Visionaries category, by Time magazine in October.

  The Dead Past. The 1962 BBC internal report that inspired Doctor Who explains why Charles Eric Maine would never do for tv: ‘...too much a fantasist; he is obsessed with the Time theme, time-travel, fourth dimensions and so on—and we consider this indigestible stuff for the audience.’ Other authors with thumbnail descriptions include Brian Aldiss, ‘not a crank'; Arthur C. Clarke, ‘a modest writer'; and C.S. Lewis, whose ‘special religious preoccupations are boring and platitudinous'.

  Novel Awards.

  Gaylactic Spectrum: Ginn Hale, Wicked Gentlemen.

  International Horror Guild: Dan Simmons, The Terror.

  World Fantasy: Guy Gavriel Kay, Ysabel.

  Thog's Masterclass.

  Dept of Expansive Simile. ‘Now at last Vera Verovna knew what she felt like: the mouse before the cat, the bee before the bear, the frog before the snake, the child before the dinosaur, the leaf before the wind, the beauty before the beast.’ (Uri Geller, Shawn, 1990)

  Philosophy Dept. ‘We're all toenails on our own bodies.’ (Ibid) ‘Time is flesh and flesh is gravity. Gravity is time and time is velocity.’ (Ibid)

  Dept of Mucosemiotics. ‘There was a tense silence, then a hard voice literally spat into the room: “Yes!"’ (A.E. van Vogt, Masters of Time, 1950)

  Dept of Strange Endowment. ‘She runs one hand along the lines of her body, her breasts like damp petals.’ (Bruce Boston, All The Clocks Are Melting, 1984) ‘Beneath the contour jewellery her breasts lay like eager snakes.’ (J.G. Ballard, ‘The Cloud-Sculptors of Coral D', F&SF, 1967)

  Personal Service Dept. ‘The waitress had filled my coffee cup and taken my first swallow before the sheriff spoke.’ (Charlaine Harris, Grave Sight, 2005)

  R.I.P.

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  Forrest J Ackerman

  photo by Alan Light

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  Forrest J Ackerman (1916-2008), long-time US sf fan, editor and agent uniquely famous for being a fan and collector, died on 4 December; he was 92. Forry received the first Hugo presented, as ‘#1 Fan Personality’ in 1953; popularized (alas) the term ‘sci-fi’ in 1954; edited Famous Monsters of Filmland for 25 years from 1958; and was lavishly supportive to generations of sf fans.

  James Cawthorn (1929-2008), UK artist, writer and critic who illustrated and reviewed for New Worlds, created the graphic novel adaptations of Michael Moorcock's Stormbringer, The Jewel in the Skull and others, and with Moorcock co-wrote Fantasy: The 100 Best Books (1988), died on 2 December aged 78. Moorcock writes: ‘A third close friend died this year and I'm pretty devastated. Jim Cawthorn and I had worked together since the mid-fifties, from Burroughsania to New Worlds and on.'

  George C. Chesbro (1940-2008), US author whose ‘Mongo’ dwarf-detective thrillers—beginning with Shadow of a Broken Man (1977)—frequently used sf themes, died on 18 November aged 68.

  Michael Crichton (1942-2008), US physician, writer and film director best known for sf thrillers including The Andromeda Strain (1971), The Terminal Man (1974) and Jurassic Park (1990)—all filmed—died from cancer on 4 November. He was 66. Notable director credits are Westworld (1973), which Crichton also scripted, and Coma (1978). His novel State of Fear (2004) caused controversy with its environmentalist villains and, according to climate scientists, distortion of global warming research.

  Richard K. Lyon (1933-2008), US author and research chemist whose 1973 debut story appeared in Analog, died on 21 November aged 74. His 1978-1981 ‘War of the Wizards’ fantasy trilogy was written with Andrew J. Offutt.

  Joseph McGee, US horror author whose small-press publications had attracted much attention since 2006, died on 27 November. He was reportedly just 23.

  Ivan Southall, award-winning Australian children's author whose ‘Simon Black’ aviation/sf adventures appeared from 1950 to 1961, died on 15 November; he was 87.

  William Wharton (Albert William du Aime, 1925-2008), US author best known for the magic-realist Birdy (1979), died on 29 October aged 82. His novel Franky Furbo (1989) is an outright though offbeat fantasy.

  Peter Vansittart (1920-2008), UK historical novelist whose first book I Am the World (1942) was sf and who wrote several unusual timeslip fantasies, died on 4 October; he was 88.

  Copyright © 2009 David Langford

  [Back to Table of Contents]

  MONETIZED—Jason Stoddard

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  Illustrated by Paul Drummond

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  Jason Stoddard is an evil marketer, metaverse developer, and a Theodore Sturgeon Memorial Award and Sidewise Award finalist. Editors at Interzone, Futurismic, Sci Fiction, Strange Horizons and other publications have been crazy enough to buy his stories. Visit him at strangeandhappy.com.

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  My Saturday started with Antonio Moreno, screaming at me through my eyeset.

  "Mike! Where'd the money go!” he yelled.

  I groaned. I sat up. Full sun streamed through the grimy windows of my Silver Lake crackerbox, slashing the bedsheets white and hitting one absinthe-soaked retina like a billion photonic bullets. My other eye saw Antonio's avatar, realistically hyperventilating.

  Nana mumbled and rolled over. Probably something about how stupid it was to sleep with your eyeset on.

  "Hold on,” I said. I made myself get out of bed. I stumbled into the hall and leaned against the wall, head down to stop the jackhammers. “What money?"

  "Whaddya mean, what money, you dicksmoker..."

  Ah. Fragments of thought pierced alcohol-stunned neurons. The money I'd given him to start his WeRU franchise.

  Mom's money.

  I eyeballed my account, and sure enough the money'd come back like a boomerang kid after college. It had a big red animated tag stuck to it: failed transaction stipulations. The happy bankbot started reading the fine print: The source of these funds, Ms Mary Palmetto, has placed restrictions on their use -

  I eyeballed the mutebot icon. “Antonio, you fucked up. I told you, you can't do certain things—"

  "I did nothin!"

  The bankbot showed a transaction where Antonio's WeRU franchise had thumbed a contract with a social pr
opagation agency that was in direct competition with my mom's. I shot a cap of it to Antonio's eyeset. He stared at it for a moment, then gave me a big o-fuck expression.

  "Kim,” he said.

  Stuff clicked. Kim was his high-Attention Index talent, daughter of a last-of-the-real-moviestars mother and first-of-the-MySpace-rockstars father. She was so massively dumb she made you think that all those parties the celebs went to were really a secret breeding program, designed to make them stupid enough to sign any contract after a few generations.

  The bankbot fed me video: Kim and some saleshunk from PropPotential, full of silicone muscle. I shot it off to Antonio.

  "Shit, shite, sorry,” Antonio said. “No wonder—"

  "Kill the contract. I'll send the money back. Then, for fuck's sake, don't let Kim thumb anything."

  Antonio nodded. “Done."

  You missed the chance to earn 10 goldendollars by referring your friend to Durian Bank, where your money works harder, MakeMoMoola whispered. This has been -

  "Shut up!” I said. Fucking bot. I left it on because I liked to ignore it.

  "What?” Antonio said.

  "MakeMoMoola."

  Antonio laughed. “You must have the worst ME on the planet."

  Yeah, and Monetization Effectiveness times Attention Index is Your Total Value. I remembered the post-Big Dump vids. We're saving the country, Mom said, when she got up in front of the bloggers and press and talked about the brilliant potential of being a vector in the new propagation economy.

  Not that it mattered to me. My ME was zero, but Mom's money would find me anywhere I went in the networked world.

  I eyeballed Antonio's transfer and sent him his money back. “There. Money's back in your account."

  You can earn 30 golden dollars for adding MoneyGuard to your friend's balance, which provides early warning of -

  "Shut up!"

  Antonio laughed again. “You know, we could set you up with a dozen WeRU reps, and have each of them refuse MakeMoMoola's suggestions. Your monetization effectiveness would go straight in the toilet. I mean, like, worse than a janitor in Antarctica. Your mom would be pissed."